There, it’s said.
I was officially diagnosed last week after two sessions with the psychologist. It’s been something that I’ve been meaning to have done for a little while now, and I’ll be honest, it’s nice to know that whatever is in my head can be corrected or at least worked on.
And for this I will be taking some medication to hopefully correct the wiring in my head to make me a little less, well, distracted. And of course I have a book, written by some guy that has studied this for some time now and is the go to guy for ADHD. With the two of these things I should be able to get my life back on track somewhat.
Not that life has been bad, I have a lovely wife, a good job, cool kids, but it’s a daily struggle to keep it all, um, straight.
Having ADHD is hard to describe as it’s all I’ve ever known. This might be easier after a couple of weeks of meds and the like so that I can compare.
I mean, I never really thought anything was wrong with me, nothing out of the ordinary at least.
I was just that disorganized guy. My desk/room was messy(but I found things) and my work got done, just not necessarily on time or the best way that it could(work harder, not smarter was my motto!). I just assumed that everyone was kinda the same, just others were better at organization that I was and just let it be.
This clip from Malcolm in the Middle is probably the best answer that I can give(go ahead, watch it, I’ll wait. Heck, I’ll watch it with you!):
And I think that, had life turned out a little different, I would never really have noticed. But I did notice, or more to the point, other people noticed.
It’s not until I had a family of my own that I really noticed problems with myself. I mean, being disorganized is one thing, but when you are constantly forgetting things, not following through on your promises, and not being a self starter, then there’s something else going on. I mean, either I had something wrong or was just a complete jerk, and no one really thought the latter.
So the years went on and at times things were ok or good, but then the bad got to become more and more and I had to do something. So I went to the doc, they referred me elsewhere and I talked to some smart people and took some tests.
She diagnosed me with Moderate ADHD – Inattentiveness, and by the sounds of it I’ve had it all my life.
You have no idea what a relief it was to hear this. It means I wasn’t just a jerk looser, that there was something off in my brain that I could deal with. I mean, who wants to be a jerk looser? No one.
I’ve also been prescribed medication, Ritalin actually(or the generic version) and I start that soon, so we’ll see if that helps at all.
The funny thing with ADHD meds is that they’re stimulants, and some from the amphetamine family(Ritalin is not, but close) and what this does is speed up certain parts of my brain that were slower than most people.
So…I take speed to slow down. It’s an odd thought but it’s what works apparently. Of course there’s side effects, there’s that for everything, but we’ll see where this all takes me.
So I might start blogging more about this, or, as usual, this will be my yearly entry, hard to say
But I’m ok, and soon will be even better.