I’m having this wonderful conversation with a woman I met online.
It’s kinda wrapping up and I tell her that I’ll call her again soon.
*pause pause*
“So, you’re not going to ask me out?”
*pause* *deer in headlights* *MAC TRUCK*
“Of course, sure, yes, when are you available…”

And I kind of fumbled around with that for a little bit and in the end she gave me a day to sort myself out.

I didn’t think you could do a “deer in headlights” on the phone, but I managed to pull it off.

It’s not that I didn’t initially ask her out because I’m some kind of insensitive jerk, but it’s just that I don’t think of these sorts of things anymore.
I’ve been single for about 10 years now, and I’ve just gotten used to it.

I need to make myself some dating flash cards or something….

8 thoughts on “Blindsided

  1. would you like the girl translation?

    Hell I’ll give it to you anyway.

    SHE asked YOU out. Yes she probably got tired of waiting but also probably didn’t mind in the least the fact it wasn’t the first thing out of your mouth either.

    Run free giggling with that thought.

  2. Worst Part?
    It’s the second time it’s happened.
    With the same girl.

    Last time she kept asking what I was doing on the weekend, got tired of my answers and dropped that she was available.

    Need flash cards…

  3. She also needs to be hit with the ‘speak directly stick’. I find phrases like ‘so you up for a movie’ much bettter then say ‘do you like popcorn?’ or ‘what do you think of newspaper movie reviews’.

    But there has been several pressures about for chicks to not do the asking.

  4. I’ve got your dating flash cards right here.

    (look at her eyes.)
    (No, her EYES)
    (those aren’t her eyes)
    (damn, those are nice…LOOK AT HER EYES)
    (nod and smile)
    (agree with what she’s saying)
    (EYES! Not the firm, round…EYES!)
    (yes, you just love shopping for new wall treatments)
    (Ok, she’s walking away to the ‘powder room.’ Feel free to stare at her ass)

    –Cent, the voice of hard won experience

  5. Very very few of us bipeds with internal plumbing speak directly on such matters it is a very weird and I suspect deeply cultural thing that we keep intending to break out of but haven’t managed yet. The counter to it is that guys haven’t who are the ones expected to be asking these things generally don’t know the evasion techniques.

    *shrugs* Still I find life easier when I manage to say what I damn well mean.

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