I want a new duck

Congratz to those that got the Weird Al/Huey Lewis reference.

I don’t actually want a duck, well, I do, but not for this post. Who doesn’t want a duck? Anyway!

What I really need is a new way of doing things. All sorts of things. Things like meal prep, work prep, working, doing hobbies(starting and actually doing hobbies), house maintenance, all sorts of things. Basically I need a new way of doing stuff. All the stuff.

It’s not that I don’t get *anything* done, it’s just that some things have a way of causing anxiety and stress that I really don’t need. My hairline is showing that really well.

Here’s an example:

Some of the meals this week needed to be earlier than usual. So I thought; I’ll actually take some stuff out ahead of time and get my butt organized for those nights. We had some meat in the freezer that we should really get to, so I got out a couple of boobs and some steak, they were oddly numbered (meaning not one:one for people to eat) so Tuesday I was going to do chicken with white sauce and linguini, it’s a fam favorite and really easy. So I BBQ the chicken and, oh, no white sauce. It’s getting on in time, so maybe I’ll make some, not the right stuff to do that with. So pivot to baked noodles and problem solved. Right?

Sure, but according to my fitness tracker I had just run 100000km because of my heart rate. And as we know, you only have so many beats.

Wednesday, mostly the same. I had spent most of the day doing work or nothing and suddenly it was 1pm and I needed to get dinner planned. No clue, but I thought, hey, I have the chicken already cooked. I’ll just chop that up, throw some stuff on it, and call it a stir fry. No, I don’t have all the good stuff for a stir fry, but I’ll eat it and I can cook up the steak for the kids. Except it’s not steak, it’s ground beef. Right, the steak was under the ground beef, but I had told myself that it was steak and now what. OK, don’t panic(I already was, and telling myself not to didn’t help, but I had to try), I’ll make burgers and save the rice I had already made for something else. OK, problem solved, again.

Still ran that 100000km though.

My lovely wife did save the day by bringing him chinese food because it was my birthday. I love her 😀

If you’re still with me, I’m sure you’re thinking(at least I hope you’re thinking) hey man, we all have bad days. But that’s most of the time for me.

Did I mention I had ADHD? Yea, I’m sure I wrote about that at one point. But it’s really becoming a thing. Again.

This isn’t just a dinner thing either, it’s an everything I need to do thing. And it’s really starting to get annoying. Like depressing annoying.

I follow these ADHD users on Insta and mostly it’s funny stuff, with a bit of truth thrown in, and I’m learning bits and bobs about how my brain works and what’s causing these problems. The trick here is that now I’m letting these things become excuses and I don’t like that part of me.

Like; Hey, I’m not doing this because of this part of my that’s busted up, and you just have to deal with it!

Not that I say that of course, but it’s what’s ringing between my ears. I’m letting all these little things that are wrong with me(not that having ADHD is wrong, I just can’t think of a better word) pile up and control my life.

I’m not looking for advice right now, I’ve just come to the realization that I need to change, and not let what’s wrong be the driving force. I have people to take care of, to take care of me, and I want to be the best me I can be.

Part of that is this blog. Hopefully. I’m starting this the day after my 48th birthday and I want to do everything I can to make good changes before my 49th, and have them stick.

So I want a new duck.

One that won’t try to bite
One that won’t chew a hole in my socks
One that won’t make a mess of my house
One who’ll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And keep his room real neat

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